'Life Can Be A Hole-In-One!' - Thom Singer's Blog Post - May 14, 2007

Summary

Thom Singer's blog post is entitled, "Life Can Be A Hole-In-One!" [blog]

Details

Singer compares life to a game of golf - keep on trying and victory will be yours for the taking. Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

Some Assembly Required Blog

'Writing a Wedding Speech: 10 Golden Public Speaking Tips' - Jim Arthur Peterson's Blog Post - May 14, 2007

Summary

Jim Arthur Peterson's blog post is entitled, "Writing a Wedding Speech: 10 Golden Public Speaking Tips." [blog]

Details

Peterson gives tips on how to write a wedding speech. Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

Speech Topics Help, Advice and Ideas Blog

'Problems with Power Point' - Jonathan Steele's Blog Post - May 14, 2007

Summary

Jonathan Steele's blog post is entitled, "Problems with Power Point." [blog]

Details

Steele says that if you are talking in front of an audience, don't move in front of the Power Point screen. Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

SpeechMastery.com Blog

'Right Exercise Can Help You in Feeling Good When You Look Back Into Your life' - Self Help Zone Blog Post - May 14, 2007

Summary

Self Help Zone blog post is entitled, "Right Exercise Can Help You in Feeling Good When You Look Back Into Your life." [blog]

Details

The blog post says, "You want to do the things in life that you want so that you are able to look back on your life and feel great.

One way to do this is to find the right exercise that works best for you." Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

Self Help Zone Blog

'Two Questions: Why does it matter? What's your contribution?' - Garr Reynolds' Blog Post - May 14, 2007

Summary

Garr Reynolds blog post is entitled, "Two Questions: Why does it matter? What's your contribution?" [blog]

Details

Reynolds says, "Good presenters try to put themselves in the shoes of the audience so to speak.

If you have never been in a presentation or a meeting and not asked yourself “why does this matter?” — or “why am I here?” — then you are a very lucky person indeed." Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

Presentation Zen Blog

'Daily Affirmation - I Am..." - Kirsten Harrell's Blog Post - May 14, 2007

Summary

Kirsten Harrell's blog post is entitled, "Daily Affirmation - I Am..." [blog]

Details

Harrell says to repeat this affirmation throughout the whole day. Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

Think Positive! Blog

'Flexibility is a Creative Tool' - Robert Alan Black's Blog Post - May 14, 2007

Summary

Robert Alan Black's blog post is entitled, "Flexibility is a Creative Tool." [blog]

Details

Black says, "In addition to generating many ideas strive to generate many, many different ideas." Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

Create with Alan Blog

'Portrait of an Achiever' - Matt's Blog Post - May 14, 2007

Summary

Matt's blog post is entitled, "Portrait of an Achiever." [blog]

Details

Matt posts Abraham Lincoln's qualifications which made him a success. Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

Achieving Life Abundance Blog

'Mindfulness and Perfection: Jumping the Achievement Track' - Maya Talisman Frost's Article - May 13, 2007

Maya Talisman Frost's article is reprinted here.

Mindfulness and Perfection:

Jumping the Achievement Track

by Maya Talisman Frost

As a mother of four young women (ages 16, 17, 19 and 20), I am pretty clued in to the whole be-perfect trend so prevalent in high schools in the United States.

In fact, it's one of the biggest reasons we jumped the achievement track and headed to Latin America.

So, I wasn't surprised to read an article in The New York Times that described the pressure facing
upper middle class high school girls as they prepare for college. But I WAS reminded of the
craziness of a system that asks our children to do more, more, more of the same old thing instead of inviting them to become a completely different kind of college applicant.

It used to be impressive to take one or two Advanced Placement courses in high school--tougher options with the possibility of getting college credit later. Now, the norm is to take three or four
or even more each semester.

This shows a complete lack of creativity and logic--not to mention strategy, for which we in the competitive US of A are known. It's a perfect example of blind adherence to a particular idea--
that more is better.

I don't get it. Didn't you have a mother who asked you, "If everybody else jumped off a cliff, would YOU do it, too?" whenever you wanted to do something ridiculous because "all the kids" your age were doing it? I certainly did. And though my mother was definitely not one to step off any track or expand her options, she didn't have a problem pointing out that doing what everyone else is doing isn't always the smartest option.

Here's the thing: your child could stagger under the load of four AP classes and still not do well
enough on the final test to get those credits. Instead, she could simply take a college class---online,
even (don't laugh--these are tougher than you might think)--and be sure to get the credit and also stand out among college applicants who have never taken a real university course.

Are sports likely to get your child a scholarship? Though that seems to be the plan among many parents, the odds are dismal. In fact, you'd be better off saving that sports camp money and sending your child on an exchange program or some other kind of experience that will wake up those admissions folks bleary-eyed from reading through the piles of perfect GPA/star athlete
applications from around the country.

Just as adults are struggling in the work-more/do-more/have-more current, we are tossing our kids into the same river rapids.

This is destructive and unnecessary--and utterly devoid of mindfulness.

When everyone is playing the same game, you've got a choice. You can either work like a crazy person to try to climb to the top of that very big team of wannabes, or you can be a star at a completely different game that is more suited to your interests--and more supportive of your health
and well being.

As parents, it's our job to show our kids their full range of possibilities. How can we expect them to shine if we force them to play a game that doesn't suit them?

And let's not even get into the concept of the debt they might be saddled with upon graduating from that "name-brand" university, thus necessitating a cubicle job in a field they hate just to pay the bills. That's how the game goes, you know.

Think of a different game. Don't be afraid to drop the quest for perfection and jump the achievement track. Make it a point to teach your kids to be creative about their own options.

And remember this: if you're overworked, burned out, and still playing the same game against everyone else to get ahead, that is precisely what your kids are going to absorb.

Jump the track and veer in the direction that is best for YOU.

The kids are watching.

© Copyright 2007, Maya Talisman Frost

Maya Talisman Frost has taught thousands of people how to pay attention. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she offers playful, eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To read her free tips and tricks for everyday awareness, visit:

http://www.Real-WorldMindfulness.com

*SINewswatch would like to thank Maya Talisman Frost for granting permission to reprint this article.

'100 Process Speech Topics' - Jim Arthur Peterson's Blog Post - May 13, 2007

Summary

Jim Arthur Peterson's blog post is entitled, "100 Process Speech Topics." [blog]

Details

Peterson lists 100 process speech topics for public speaking. Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

Speech Topics Help, Advice and Ideas Blog

'Daily Affirmation - Health' - Kirsten Harrell's Blog Post - May 13, 2007

Summary

Kirsten Harrell's blog post is entitled, "Daily Affirmation - Health." [blog]

Details

Harrell says to repeat the affirmation on health throughout the whole day. Read Complete Post

Post Related Link

Think Positive! Blog

'Inferiority Complex and the Self-Image' - Joshua Uebergang's Blog Article - May 13, 2007

Joshua Uebergang's blog article is reprinted here.

Inferiority Complex and the Self-Image
Joshua Uebergang

Sally walks into a room full of high-flying executives. She scans the room with her eyes and sees the executives dressed in expensive suits, sipping champagne, and mingling amongst each other. As she enters the room, she can’t help but feel “different” to the executives.

Shes feels the executives are an entire class above her. Maybe it is the executives’ suits while she is just wearing a basic top and skirt that is making her feel “below standard”. Maybe she has this strange difference because she doesn’t know the executives very well and she feels socializing with them is therefore difficult. Or maybe she has what is known as the inferiority complex.

In 1912, a psycholologist by the name of Alfred Alder wrote a book titled The Neurotic Character. His research in this book founded a popular area of psychology known as the inferiority complex which is a term used to describe a sense of inferiority an individual feels about oneself towards other people. It revolves around social status, power, ego, and dominance. You will have an inferiority complex when you feel inferior and think that other people are better than you.

Sally in our example is likely to feel inferior if she thinks the executives are better than she is. Her inferiority has nothing to do with not knowing the executives or being different. Dressing differently, not knowing anyone while everyone else knows each other, and having a less prestigious job doesn’t mean she is inferior. Rather, her interpretation of this situation that makes her feel “below standard” creates her inferiority.

An inferiority complex can arise when you experience an imagined or conditioned feeling of inferiority. As is the case for most people, it is a combination of imagination and subtle conditioning. You would feel inferior when an event takes place which makes you feel less than others (conditioning aspect) and your creative imagination (imagination aspect) would “blow out” your understanding of the event beyond what would seem reasonable to another person.

The conditioning aspect in Sally’s example is her actually being different to the executives. She is not wearing the same clothes as the executives nor is she “a part of the group”. The imagination aspect for Sally is her clothes are below their standards, the executives are better than her, the executives want nothing to do with her because of her difference, plus a lot of other possibilities she is likely to think. Let’s discuss the conditioning and creative imaginary aspects deeper.

Conditioning

I would be completely lying and doing everyone a disfavor if I said, “The inferiority complex is all in the mind, dude. Just stop thinking you’re inferior because you’re not.” I know of personal development teachers who teach such things. They are blind to reality. This type of positive thinking is nicely understood in a Bible verse.

In Luke chapter 5 (NKJV), Jesus was talking to some Pharisees who were complaining. Jesus replied to them in a parable so that they would be more likely to understand:

“No one puts a piece from a new garment on an old one otherwise the new makes a tear, and also the piece that was taken out of the new does not match the old. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; or else the new wine will burst the wineskins and be spilled, and the wineskins will be ruined.”

The garment and the wineskins examples are what positive thinking does to our self-image. A new patch over the bad garment improves the garment a little bit yet it is still its same old self. If new wine (positive thinking) is poured into old wineskins (your poor self-image of feeling inferior) then nothing good will result. It is a battle of willpower and what is known as creative imagination which you’ll learn more about below. Positive thinking can slightly improve the situation but in the end it usually results in frustration as our willpower becomes exhausted. Whenever there is a fight between willpower and creative imagination, you can bet creative imagination will be the victor.

From personal experience and coaching others, I know first hand that a better self-image where you do not feel inferior cannot be achieved through positive self-talk, affirmations, and the like. Unfortunately, thousands of people have taught and continue to teach that using positive self-talk will overcome your problems. Positive self-talk is often nothing more than an attempt to live deliriously from reality and ignore what is really taking place.

In chapters 2 and 14 of my Communication Secrets of Making People Like You Prorgam I discuss these issues in depth. We are conditioned by society to believe that being positive during our own problems and when comforting others is a good thing. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you are interested in becoming a strong pillar in someone’s life where you are able to emotionally support people, gain their respect, friendship, and remain stable, composed, and poised without feeling depressed or insane, then I highly recommend you get my program here.

The primary factors of the conditioning aspect that determines whether you become inferior or rise above the circumstance is your attitude towards criticism and failure. Don’t forget that there is the creative imagination aspect which is a more powerful influence towards feeling inferior yet criticism and failure are the powerful influences within the conditioning aspect.

Criticism and failure will always be banging at your door to success. Unfortunately, most of us let the two get a foot hold within our lives and from there the problems expand themselves. Criticism compounds criticism and failure demotivates you resulting in more failure. You will never be able to eliminate criticism or failure. Therefore, to overcome the inferiority complex you cannot expect yourself to not fail or to not receive criticism. Overcoming the conditioning aspect of the inferiority complex is a matter of learning and moving on while maintaining a goal-focused attitude.

I have found that the more people who subscribe to my newsletter (Earthling Transmission), the more visitors Earthling Communication receives, and the more people who read my articles and free resources, the more criticism I receive. I get excited with this and energized because I know the criticism is a sign of achievement (I am sober as I type this ). You and I will always have our critics provided we are not mediocre. Anyone who has achieved anything notable sooner or later receives criticism. The great Greek philosopher, Aristotle, said “Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

When you feel criticism is a signal of your unworthiness than it begins to stimulate inferiority, shame, and failure. Don’t take criticism personally and think you are a failure. If criticism is justly deserved then use it as feedback to adjust your course of action as it guides you back on the path of not feeling inferior.

You need to know that other’s criticism towards you will either be an attempt to improve your life, be a release of frustration, or a sign of the person’s own problems. Sometimes you can take the criticism as a sign of you progressing forward in life!

The impact of criticism is determined by the power of the sender, intensity, and frequency. These three factors are not limited to criticism. I’d say just about all positive and negative messages’ impact on you are determined by these three factors.

If you are passionate about boxing and Muhammad Ali told you how hopeless you are at boxing, then his power will intensify the criticism. In addition, if his criticism was delivered in an intense outburst, then the criticism would have a bigger impact on you feeling inferior as a boxer. Lastly, if he also constantly reminded you how hopeless you are at boxing, this would stimulate further inferiority.

We all have been criticized. Some people suffer while other’s flourish and experience great levels of confidence, success, happiness, and intimate relationships. Why is this and what can you do to overcome your inferiority complex?

Think of a time when the power of the sender, intensity of the criticism, and the frequency you were criticized made you feel inferior. If you can and I suggest you do, make your selected memory one related to your current feelings of inferiority. If you are a shy person than perhaps think of a time when someone told you to stop talking because you have nothing good to say.

Once you have come up with one or several memories, ask yourself these questions:

• What were you thinking when the person made you feel inferior?
• What emotions did you experience?
• What self-talk followed the person’s negative feedback?
• How long did these feelings and thoughts last?
• How intense were these feelings and thoughts?

After answering these questions, if you reacted poorly to the negative feedback given to you in these situations, you should now be more aware of how your feeling of inferiority developed. You see, the person’s criticism and other types of negative feedback has no power over you. It isn’t the events which make you inferior. Rather, it is your reaction to the events. It is the thoughts and feelings you experience after the event that determine whether your inferiority grows or dies. The conditioning aspect of inferiority partly manifests through the criticism of others if we let it, yet our reaction to the event usually determines who become.

Referring back to the three components (power of sender, intensity, and frequency) which shape us, if you severely beat your emotional self up and frequently do it (for self-talk, I say the power of the sender factor varies depending how strong your self-image is in the specific area you are criticizing yourself over), than the self-criticism will have a bigger impact on your inferiority.

You condition yourself to feel inferior through self-criticism. You become your own worst enemy. Your “self” gets smacked by your thoughts and self-talk. The failures become a part of who you are. You are unable to disassociate events and experiences from your identity and so you begin to verbally bash your mind. You feel inferior like a failure.

Once you’ve initiated the thoughts, the feelings begin to follow. You begin to feel inferior. You use your creative imagination poorly and begin to evoke images of failure, misery, shame, unworthiness, and low self-esteem. All these negative messages that you’ve come to accept over time mold your self-image and make you feel inferior. You eventually believe that you are in fact inferior.

Creative Imagination

All animals have their own preprogramming that gives them a set of functions which enables them to survive. I’m amazed at the simple yet effective preprogramming that takes place in birds. When the season changes these amazing creatures can fly thousands of miles straight to a destination they have never been to before. In addition, birds build nests without ever having to attend “Nest Building 101” or taking a course in materials engineering.

Like animals, we are preprogrammed with a set of functions that enable us to survive from threats, allow us to gather food, and procreate. However, we have one huge difference within us. That is, we are goal-driven. Humans have the option to select their goals while animals do not have this ability. Animals are preprogrammed from birth to live a certain life. They survive and procreate. Humans are different. We can create goals and set out to achieve them with our creative imagination.

I honestly feel this to be the greatest part of all personal development. That is a huge statement and I stand by it. My creative imagination is something I get so excited about. It gives me the ability to literally become who I want to be. You will learn later on that your creative imagination is the key to altering your self-image. It is a key determinant in whether you achieve a goal or not like overcoming the inferiority complex.

Before I discuss more about the creative imagination, the creative imagination is not so much about coming up with ideas; though idea generation does come from this. Your creative imagination gives you the ability to dream goals and visualize them so vividly that your nervous system cannot tell your visualizations are not reality. You can literally trick your entire body into thinking you are experiencing a realistic event when in fact you are just using your creative imagination.

Unfortunately, for many people they waste their creative imagination. It is as if they have a billion dollar check in their wallet and they do not cash it in at the bank. In fact, it is more like they have a billion dollar golden nugget they do not convert to cash and so they are burdened with the impossibility of getting through life by carrying it around. They let this great opportunity go to complete waste. Unless you awaken this inner giant, it will lay dormant, sleepy, lazily, and do nothing in your life. It is your inner giant that can create great happiness, success, and relationships if you know how to use it.

The first common way your creative imagination is wasted is through aimless daydreaming and fantasizing. This is letting it go to complete waste. Your mind aimlessly wanders off into a fantasy that cannot be created or which you have no desire to experience.

The second common way your creative imagination is wasted is using it to create bad events in your life. This is where the inferiority complex is derived. People unknowingly use their creative imagination to create their inferiority complex. They create scenarios and thoughts of inferiority from their imagination. They imagine rejection, failure, criticism, shame, hatred, scarcity, and loneliness.

It is the images you evoke like failure, unworthiness, and shame that wastefully use your creative imagination to bring further bad events into your life. If you experience fear, anxiety, or worry about what other people think of you, than you are making this common mistake and wasting your creative imagination.

Napoleon Complex

A part of Alfred Alder’s work of the inferiority complex developed the Napoleon complex which is a specific feeling of inferiority about one’s height. Alfred Alder was said to have named the Napoleon complex after the great military leader Napoleon Bonaparte who was driven from his insecurities of being short.

People with a Napoleon complex “makes-up” for their inferiority through aggressive behaviors. They have a superficial layer of toughness. On the outside they overcompensate for their insecurity which is within. They feel handicapped because of their smaller stature and attempt to “make-up” for this perceived problem. A smaller stature is not necessarily a true handicap as it just a perceived handicap where the individual uses one’s creative imagination to feel inferior.

Diagnosing this type of inferiority within you lies in having overcompensating behavior because of perceived inferiority. You would have the Napoleon complex and demonstrate overcompensating behavior when you aim to put-down others who are taller than you. You would have that little extra desire to do better than those who are taller than you. You would try and make taller people look bad. The worst possible symptom of this feeling of inferiority is physically hurting taller people because of their stature. This specific Napoleon complex is derived from one’s personal feeling of inferiority and fear that taller people are better than you.

I know the ‘Napoleon complex’ is a common and more general term used outside of physical height where the individual overcompensates for a perceived handicap. Most of us do have a tendency to be controlling and aggressive beyond the many possibilities of height differences. All of us have our own and often strange reasons for feeling inferior that we dare not share with anyone else.

A common example where overcompensating behaviors take place are when someone feels threatened by an attractive person. A woman would have the Napoleon complex when she feels threatened purely from an attractive lady’s looks. Because women are very competitive in the dating world, if they feel inferior to a more attractive lady they will overcompensate for this by criticizing, teasing, and displaying other insecure behaviors relating to the attractive lady’s looks.

The shallow woman tries to be better than other women. She may also try to make herself feel better by putting-down other women who are less attractive than she is or who lack other qualities that she has. This is all the bitchy behavior where women try not to feel inferior because they are less attractive than the “superior” lady. If you have a need to “pull” other people down than it is likely you are suffering from inferiority.

Both women and men who subtly communicate these insecurities instantly become less attractive. I find it very annoying, depressing, and irritating to have someone next to me whose feeling of inferiority is temporarily made better by criticizing another person.

So let me ask you this. What is your attitude towards people who are better than you in certain areas of your life? How do you feel towards people who are more attractive than you? How you do feel towards people who are your superiors at work? Do you feel inferior to them? Do you feel they are better than you? Do you need to “pull” them down from their podium by criticizing? Or do you become inspired, excited, and thrilled to see their successes?

I hope you have very deeply thought about and answered each one of those questions. If you rushed through the questions, go back and take your time to think and relive relevant experiences. Actually begin to think!

I often see nobodies, the unsuccessful, the unhappy, and the miserable criticizing others who are happy and successful. It is disgusting to see this happen. A young person achieves a goal earlier then the miserable person which makes the person criticize how “bad”, “wrong”, and “mistaken” the young achiever is. It is absolutely disgusting to see someone attempt to pull another person down because of personal insecurities.

A great test to see how secure and confident a person is can be conducted by complimenting a person who is more successful than your “test subject” in an area you feel they may act inferior. For example, if I wanted to see how confident a lady is about her looks, I could compliment a more attractive lady on how her hair brings out her positive features. If the lady is insecure, she would likely find something wrong with the lady and follow up my comments with something like “… but look at her shoes. Ugh. She’s got no fashion sense.” Not an attractive quality to have at all.

Cultural Cringe

The cultural cringe is an interesting area of the inferiority complex where people feel inferior due to their culture. It could be because of their genetic appearance, pronunciation of words, or other areas of the human body which vary between cultures. I believe this to be common in middle eastern countries where terrorist activities have hurt how other countries perceive these middle eastern countries. These middle easterners are likely to experience the cultural cringe because they feel inferior due to someone like their own – Osama Bin Laden – being associated with their culture.

A few days ago I came across a lady who was experiencing the cultural cringe about her physical form. She was saying how much she wished she could look like an Asian lady. She complained about the features of her body being different and unusual. She hated her self-image and loved how others in Asian cultures looked. Her idea that other cultures are better than hers made herself feel inferior.

These feelings of inferiority hurt you by damaging how you communicate with yourself and others. You will hate certain people, cultures, situations, and events because of the cultural cringe. Your subconscious will be so poisoned with imaginary beliefs powerful enough to destroy your happiness, relationships, and success.

Superiority Complex?

Back to the scenario where Sally is in a room full of successful executives. A common technique people use to “overcome” their inferiority complex is to make themselves feel superior. The superiority complex is a feeling of superiority over other people. If Sally had a superiority complex or attempted to feel superior, than she would criticize the executives to “pull-down” their status in an effort to make herself feel better. She also could try to “lift” her status by portraying how better she is than the executives. Both of these poor techniques in “overcoming” the inferiority complex attempt to lift her status but fail to do so. Let me explain.

People attempt and fail to overcome feelings of inferiority by becoming superior. They “overcome” inferior feelings by making themselves feel better than other people. A temporary patch to solve the inferiority complex is to make yourself feel superior. Many people do not understand that this solution is temporary. It takes most people an experience of superiority (likely by achieving a desired goal) to only realize that they still feel inferior.

Let’s face it, I think we have all fallen into the same trap. We think that to overcome our feeling of inferiority we must feel superior. This ultimately only leads to more frustration and inferiority. I can guarantee you this. If you must feel superior than you are still comparing yourself to the false measuring stick you used to judge yourself when you were inferior.

Once you perceive yourself to be superior, you will be constantly searching for validation from other people to prove to yourself that you are still superior. You will likely be a person who thrives off of attention and perhaps someone who is needy. If you are put out of place by being ignored and made to feel less superior, you will attempt to grab back your “non-existent podium” of superiority by criticizing others and using behaviors to lift your own status.

If a person’s need to compete against another is driven from the person’s insecurity to feel superior, does a superiority complex actually exist? I think it does exist but an inferiority complex can be used to explain someone with a superiority complex.

You are You

A secret to overcoming the inferiority complex is accepting you are who you are. I’m certain you would have heard people to just be yourself. I think that is awful advice. If you continue to be yourself than you will continue to have poor habits, thoughts, feelings, and results.

Being yourself is completely different than accepting that you are unique. A guy who knows he is unique is still able to grow as a person and “not be himself”. He will continue to always be unique no matter what he does.

So hopefully now you accept you are a unique individual but I am willing to bet that you do not believe it. I’m guessing you consciously accept your uniqueness but you are still comparing yourself to the false measuring stick that causes inferiority. By measuring yourself against these mystical standards, you are likely to not be accepting of your uniqueness.

Next time you feel inferior, I want you to challenge those thoughts and find out why exactly you feel inferior. Having done so, acknowledge that the people you are measuring yourself against are not the true measuring stick. You are you. What you need to do is compare yourself with who you were.

If you are shy in conversations than don’t compare yourself to the extrovert, blabbermouth, social butterfly who won’t shut the heck up. Compare your present shyness to your shyness one month ago. Derive satisfaction from knowing that you are becoming a better person. No one will have experienced the same situations, people, events, thoughts, and feelings that erected your feeling of inferiority. There are so many variables that make you unique. Your family, friends, co-workers, and the list goes on.

Know that you don’t need to arrive at your goal to enjoy yourself. You can enjoy the journey in knowing that you are making progression and becoming more confident. In doing so, you are able to accept your uniqueness.

About 90% of people have the inferiority complex so our perceived standard is a joke! You should be able to see how silly we are to compare ourselves against these false measurements. You are not inferior or superior to anyone nor is anyone inferior or superior to you. We all are ourselves. You are you and our friend Sally is Sally. Remaining different and not complying to “standards” (which 90% of the population don’t fit in. Ha! ) is a part of the secret in overcoming the inferiority complex.

Self-image

To overcome your inferiority complex you need to change your self-image. The self-image is how you perceive yourself. It is a mental picture of who you are. It does not have to be truth as we’ve seen in the inferiority complex where you are not necessarily inferior. The self-image is the image of yourself that you hold in your mind.

The great Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-cybernetics, was a plastic surgeon in the mid 1900s. He operated on many individuals who felt inferior due to their “unusual” looks. Most of the individuals did not at all look unusual as it was their self-image that blew their little differences out of proportion. They had used their creative imagination to create a dangerously false understanding of what they looked like.

The Doctor had operated on many people who despite after the plastic surgery, still felt a feeling of inferiority. They would come back to him requesting more surgery seeking to look exactly like famous individuals. He would again operate on them and still only to have the individuals dissatisfied with their appearance.

For some of his patients, this was not the case. Some individuals’ feeling of inferiority would disappear after plastic surgery while others had their emotional scars cured without ever having to undergo surgery. This made Dr. Maxwell Maltz very curious. He wondered why people who had their “outer scars” healed like facial deformities still had “inner scars” like feelings of inferiority. From his research emerged modern self-help psychology. He is the founder of visualization, creative imagination, self-talk, and changing the self-image.

Unfortunately, anorexics have a really distorted self-image. Their obsessive compulsion to lose weight cannot be logically understood. They can be on the brink of death from starvation and still perceive themselves to be fat. Those who have never directly experienced such a situation will often fail to understand how this can be true. It is a very hard disease to grasp your mind around if you have not directly experienced such a horrific situation.

Your self-image has enormous powers. It controls exactly what you can and cannot do. If you see yourself as inferior to others because of a false belief than this self-image will ensure that you remain inferior. No amount of positive thinking, willpower, determination, or other techniques will cure your feeling of inferiority if your self-image is inferior like we discussed earlier. Just like your self-image determines if you feel inferior, so I believe that for any goal you set out to achieve your self-image must also be congruent with your desired future. Your self-image controls what you can achieve.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz in The New Psycho-cybernetics says:

“The self-image controls what you can and cannot accomplish, what is difficult or easy for you, even how others respond to you just as certainly and scientifically as a thermostat controls the temperature in your home. Specifically, all your actions, feelings, behavior, even your abilities, are always consistent with this self-image. Note the word: always. In short, you will “act like” the sort of person you conceive yourself to be.”

A person who is 250 pounds can drop to 210 pounds through willpower. The person can lose weight with determination. However, if the weight-loss took place out of sheer determination than the person will return to their true self-image weight of 250 pounds. If you see yourself as fat but your determined to lose weight, than it is likely you will lose weight. Your determination will drop those pounds. However, if your self-image has not adjusted to your new weight than you can be guaranteed your old weight will return.

The same rule holds true for becoming more muscular. If your self-image is a thin-body than you are going to have an extremely tough time packing on muscle. Arnold Schwarzenegger at 15 was thin. What set him apart from other body-builders in the gym was his self-image. He would visualize his new muscular body each time he performed a rep at the gym while other body-builders would fantasize over bikini models.

It is exactly like a thermostat that Maxwell Maltz uses to explain the self-image. The room temperature can fluctuate a few degrees depending on who enters and leaves the room yet the thermostat will always return the room to its set temperature. This is why people who do not adjust their self-image are able to lose weight yet it fluctuates and eventually returns to their self-image.

If you use forward goal-setting where you set a goal to achieve and work towards it, you set yourself up for failure. A person aiming to lose weight through willpower is using forward goal-setting. This fails. As I’ve repeatedly said, positive willpower cannot overcome a negative creative imagination. Your creative imagination will always win.

Apply this to other areas of your life. Stop trying to use willpower to overcome your inferiority complex or to achieve some other goal. It cannot be done for permanent results. What you need to do for all your goals is use backward goal-setting where you set a goal to achieve and begin doing the things now that you would be doing upon achieving that goal.

To do this you need to awaken your creative imagination by immersing yourself in an imaginary environment where you have already achieved your goal. Your primary aim is to visualize yourself immersed in an environment so real that it feels like you have already achieved it. I will run through a complete exercise that you can apply right now to overcome your inferiority complex.

Exercise

I’m going to run you through an intense visualization. The nervous system cannot tell a real event from a fake event. That is why you can experience huge physiological changes by altering your imagery.

This isn’t the exercise, but imagine you are in a real fight. Hear the yelling, swearing, and abuse. Feel the air. Taste the blood. Seeing the people gathered around. Look at your angry opponent. By immersing yourself in the environment your physiology will appropriately respond. Your body will release doses of adrenaline as your heart rate increases along with heightened awareness. The more real your visualization is, the more your body responds as if it were a real experience.

I’ll walk you through what I would do in Sally’s situation. I firstly slow down my breathing. I notice whatever tensions there are in my body and make a conscious decision to relax that part of the body. Now, I visualize myself walking confidently into the room full of executives. Shoulders are back, posture is erect, neck is straight, my strides are slow, and I hold my eye contact if others look at me. I smell the champagne and hear the chatter and occasional loud laugh. I see the gray colored walls and people’s black shoes.

I feel the wrinkles around my mouth as I smile when greeting an executive. I sense other’s feel my firm handshake. People are warming up to me as I’m communicating complete comfort with myself. I love myself and have no need to compare myself against other’s standards. I’m proud in knowing that I’m becoming a better person. I’m a unique individual. I am poised and have zero feeling of inferiority.

To overcome your inferiority complex, start visualizing what it would feel like to not worry what other people think of you. Imagine yourself in the exact same environment. Details are extremely important. Make it so vivid that it becomes real. Use all your five senses: taste, touch, sight, smell, and hearing.

Run through these visualizations everyday. By constantly running these visualizations, you begin to create a new self-image that is aligned with the visualizations. Your creative imagination overpowers whatever willpower you have.

You should also use the positive thinking I earlier “bashed”. Positive thinking is of course a valuable tool when using in conjunction with your creative imagination. Combine these two great tools together and you will soon overcome your inferiority complex. After all, your inferiority complex developed by using these same tools in a negative fashion.

Please post a comment or story about your inferiority along with how the report has changed your life. Also, let others know about this free report. You are by far from alone in experiencing inferiority.

I could have easily charged for this report but decided not to. I want as many people to read this as possible. With your help, I know this can be more easily accomplished so please tell your friends, family, and co-workers about this report. Help let others know about this report as thanks for me freely giving this report to you. Email them by clicking here.

Remember, you don’t know the feelings of inferiority someone could be experiencing which is damaging their life. Do them a favor of sending them this report and they could be forever thankful for your thoughtfulness.

*SINewswatch would like to thank Joshua Uebergang for granting permission to reprint this blog article.